Author Topic: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)  (Read 7064 times)

buford354

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Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« on: February 15, 2012, 09:18:37 AM »
Yeppie today is the day I visit the Wallyworld in South Palatka to get myself
another pair of bluejeans (we useda call them Levies) back we I was a sprout.
Here's the reason when ya ain't got no behind to push your back wallet pocket
up high enough to reach without bowing your back it's time fer new jeans if in
ya no what I mean, dang near forgot this mornin, I busted threw the big two
zero zero for the first time in near on 20 years. Also cause of y'all I got to get
myself a new belt to, I was fer sure not gonna start wear spenders makes me
look bad when I eat out.

Here some Southern stuff y'all might just not no.

THINGS I LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH, yeppie I really live in the
South , not as far south as Doug and UMPA, but I been there so I guest
that may count fer something.  Hope these bring ah smile to face and a
real big grin to yer heart. 

Buford and the Girls
   
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.   
   
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. 

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before. 

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. 

Onced and Twiced are words. 

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! 

People actually grow,eat and like okra. 

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that. 

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper. 

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. 

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. 

The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?' 

You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see. 

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em. 

Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural. 

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. 

You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car. 

You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup. 

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip. 

Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss(first name) or Mr.(first name)

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. 

You know what a hissy fit is.. 

Fried catfish is the other white meat. 

We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!! 

You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH. 

 
 

 
 
 
 

 


SherriPie

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2012, 09:40:09 AM »
Congratulations!! Only buy a pair or two because you'll be needing a smaller size again before long!
Check out my latest book on my Author Page at Amazon.com!
http://www.amazon.com/Sherri-Ann-Smith/e/B009G5C0SU/

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shawn116

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2012, 10:26:14 AM »
Congrats on needing the new britches Buford!!   ;D 

Thanks for the giggle...... :D :D :D   So true  ;)

MommaB

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2012, 11:03:03 AM »
That's great Buford!! I understood ever' word and know it's all true!  :D



mouseissue

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2012, 12:30:58 PM »
Hi Buford! :)

I like y'all's humor! :D :D :D :D

I wear Wrangler jeans (made by Levi).
I couldn't wear them before FTS because they would not fit right (bind at the waist & "plumber's crack" :D ).
SherriPie is right!... Only buy a couple of pair because you'll shrink out of 'em before you know it.

And I agree, catfish is the other white meat.
To me, channel catfish (from a stream) are the sweetest tasting fish alive!
Steelhead trout (also stream dwellers) are a very close second!
What you do today is what matters!




Maddysmom

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2012, 12:46:18 PM »
Congrats!  Oh, and I understood ALL of that southern lingo! ha ha  I live in Georgia.    As for the flat opossum.....

Do you know why the chicken crossed the road?    To show a possum that is CAN be done!   :D ha ha ha

Keep up the good work!!   ;D



buford354

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2012, 01:29:13 PM »
I am written a course in how to speak Southern , thanks
Anybody else got any, if in you would rather I will private
message my email address if you want me to.

Buford and the Girls

SarahC

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2012, 01:45:52 PM »
How about "I'm fixinta open a can of whupa*s on you." That's Texan.



mouseissue

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2012, 02:14:06 PM »
How about "I'm fixinta open a can of whupa*s on you." That's Texan.

God Bless Texas! :) :) :) :)
What you do today is what matters!




Maddysmom

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2012, 02:45:14 PM »
"How's yer Mama n 'em?"   ha ha   



buford354

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2012, 03:07:30 PM »
I just heared this one today at WallyWorld from some oldtimer back by
in the fishing stuff.

"One day you is the pigeon and the next day you might just be the statue"

Had think on that one for a minute. I do not want to be the statue.

Thanks y'all , got my new levi's and belt. Only buyed one pair , that
there was a good idea y'all gave me thanks. 

Buford and the Girls

Doug Varrieur

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2012, 04:28:27 PM »
Congratulations Buford, I'm a Dickies Carpenter jeans man myself and I too enjoy the Wallyworld...in fact I made up a Wallyworld song a few years ago which I sing on the way;

I'm going to Wallyworld
Going to Wallyworld I am
I'm going to Wallyworld
I'm going with my best friend
And we're gonna buy some STUFF!
Down at the Wallyworld
Cause we're going to Wallyworld
Going to Wallyworld we are
Going to Wallyworld :)
Keep The Faith, Stay The Course, Spread The Word on Facebook and Twitter  8)

suzlyn454

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2012, 04:53:51 PM »
Here in South Carolina when someone is taking someome to the store they "carry them to the store"; cut on or off the lights rather than turn them on or off; have creamed potatoes rather than mashed potatoes; mashing is for buttons on the computer; no one asks you where you live but where do you stay; they don't raise or lower the windows instead they up the window or down the window.  We have lived here almost 30 years and are "card carrying South Carolinians" but the first 5 years were a learning experience! LOL  :D
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Maddysmom

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2012, 06:08:19 PM »
I've lived in Northeast GA my whole life, but I was seriously like 20 before I realized that "arsh taters" were actually called irish potatoes.   Another one that got me was "dreckly".   Like, "we're going to town dreckly".  Which meant "after while" or "later on".  (The word is actually directly!  ha ha ha)   ;D 



buford354

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Re: Dang'ya Doug and UMPA now I got to buy new jeans (ROTFLOL)
« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2012, 06:15:34 PM »
Well if that ain't a pail of new bait, Doug how many tools ya got in that
belt of yours. Singer, songwriter, diet guru, TV star dang thats a lot of
irons in the fire ain't it ??

Somewhar I got a list of Southern sayings and now y'all have got me hunting
fer'em.  I would be real proud to add all the new ones y'all send in. Now to that there
Texas Lady , my Aunt Hannah was from Richardson and everybody said she
talked funny (Never seemed that way to me) , she had more stories than as
she said "Even Will Rogers (You folks might want to look up this great story teller)

Our Best to You and Yours,
Buford and the Girls